she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize