I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
