my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
