So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
