I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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