sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
