You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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