Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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