Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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