My first STD was from a foam party
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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