I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
