you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
