I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
