You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
