I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
