i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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