Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
