We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
