You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
