my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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