my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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