hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
