Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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