I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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