i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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