Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
