Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
