i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
