I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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