I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
