I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
