I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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