we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
