My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
