Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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