friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
well most of my day revolves around power hour
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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