koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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