There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
