How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
