tell your sister to shave her snatch
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
