What a fucking waste of an outfit
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
