So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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