Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she pinky promised me she was 18
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
