Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
