turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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