Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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