Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize