I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
