doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
