Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
one two three fourrrrnication!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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