Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
