she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
