what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
dude. I can hear the air.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
