K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
