He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
