I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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