i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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