jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
