This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
