wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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